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Today is Monday.
1. First of all, correction: Nigeria doesn’t have 60 million bank account owners/holders. The number is actually less than half of that, going by the number of bank verification numbers, which are the objective proxy for how many bank account holders there are in Nigeria. We should have spotted and called out obvious doodoo in the iAfrikan report about KiaKia. Many thanks to Tayo Oviosu for calling us to order.
+ Bonus: There are over 97 million bank accounts, but just like active lines aren’t equal to unique users in telco parlance, the number of unique bank account holders is a fraction of that number. Going by the number of BVNs, the number of accounts per Nigerian bank account owner is three, and that seems just about right because that’s the exact number I have. Why this happens is a discussion for another day. Actually, it’s the same reason why Nigerians have more than one mobile line. We have major trust issues.
2. iFlix, another Netflix killer wannabe, is expanding to African countries. All the best. Link
3. Our son, Elon, is no longer playing with Donald Trump. Can’t be friends with people who pretend that climate change isn’t a real thing. Link
4. In other climate change news, here are the African countries that will likely be hit the hardest: Abidjan, Lagos, Cape Town, Durban, Dar es Salaam. Link
5. Kenya has faster broadband than South Africa. For those who enjoy this sort of pissing contest, Link
6. Cape Town residents are blaming Airbnb for increasing rent prices. Airbnb argues that it’s boosting the economy. I know a hashtag for this, but it’s too early on Monday morning. Link
7. South Africa’s Eskom CEO drama continues. The ousted CEO, Brian Molefe is challenging his removal in court. However, one of these shenanigans have been reported to have interfered with their light. Link
8. On Friday, the Nigerian ICT minister inaugurated a committee which will ostensibly implement the establishment of an ICT university. Whatever the hell that is supposed to be. It took two years to set up the committee after the idea was originally conceived, and said committee is full of old people, so I don’t want to think about how long it will actually take to, you know, establish the actual university. This is also known as why Nigerians don’t have nice things. Link
9. In other Nigerian white elephant project news, the Ministry of Science and Technology has announced its intention to impart STEM subject knowledge in local languages. Slow clap. Link
+ This would be a great idea if they’d figured out how to do it in English in the first place. Don’t even get me started. But then again, these are the same people who are congratulating themselves for manufacturing pencils in 2017.
10. Trolling policy makers is not the answer, however. Don’t be like Bankole. Here is a tech policy starter pack for African innovators, by Nanjira Sambuli. Link
11. Some people have been messing with the new South Africa finance minister’s Wikipedia page. It’s a good thing that Wikipedia entries don’t behave like voodoo dolls, or poor Gigaba Malusi would be dead. Link
+ Fun fact, his “English” name is Knowledge. Unfortunately, I don’t have time to find out if his siblings might be named Wisdom and Understanding.
12. Looking for coding initiatives in Zimbabwe? Here you go. Link
13. Applications to the British Council’s business accelerator bootcamp for Nigerian businesses that are two years or less is closing on the 7th of June, don’t dull. Link
14. Applications into the GSMA accelerator are open again until July. Link
15. The Forloop Women series is the latest cool thing from Forloop, the developer community that is going around, spreading coding fire across Nigeria and other African cities. If you are in Lagos on the 10th of June, you should plan to attend Forloop Women. Link
16. Congratulations to Ventures Platform for crossing the one year mark. Link
17. Bozoma Saint John has left Apple. I don’t know whether to be happy or sad. If you don’t know who that is, you are cancelled. Link
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Thanks for reading.