One of the joys of video games, especially multiplayer games, is playing with friends. Cooperative games have forged strong friendship bonds either via split screen play or online multiplayer. But the same can’t be said about competitive multiplayer.

I love video games. I’ve been playing them since I was nine. I still do. But you know what I love even more? Talking trash while playing video games. Don’t give me that look. It’s healthy. I’m serious. Research shows that trash talking increased a player’s confidence by as much as 46%. So if you’ve not been doing it, you better start.

And what better place to trash talk than when bashing friends in competitive multiplayer? The problem is, some games are so damn competitive, it literally draws the monster out of people, thereby ruining friendships in the process.

Here are the culprits:

Soul Calibur


There are two ways to experience this game. The first is to watch two pros go at it (which is how I got dragged into this game). I promise you, Soul Calibur is one of the most beautiful video games ever made. The way the characters twist and lunge their weapons and the special effects just make this a smorgasbord on the eyes.I fell in love with it at this stage and proceeded to experience the other way – playing the frigging game!

I made quite a few discoveries: first, turns out I’m pretty good at it (character of choice is Raphael); second, I have a very bad mouth; third, when people lose they make excuses. Terrible excuses.

I’ve heard the most ridiculous excuses while playing this game, “my gamepad stopped working halfway”, “this character isn’t that good” (only to use the same character to beat him in the next round), “you don’t have respect, don’t you know I’m older than you, allow me to win one” and my personal favorite – “the game is not even realistic!”


FIFA/Pro Evolution Soccer


Soccer is the world’s greatest sport, bar none. Not tennis, not basketball, not boxing. Soccer FTW. This is the game of kings.

If you’re waiting for me to say Pro Evo is better than FIFA or vice versa, you may wait a while. Both games are actually quite good now and have a humongous following. And soccer players know how to bring the dirty when trash talking. I saw a match end 7 – 1 and the loser yanked out the power cable out of frustration. You can imagine how friendly the two players were after that incident.

Unfortunately, I’m still a padawan when it comes to the game of virtual footy. So I always try to respect myself. I always gauge my opponents, make sure they’re within my skill range. But sometimes I misjudge (some people hide behind a wall of modesty). Like my friend, Kingsley. I “foolishly” played a game with him and got my butt whupped so bad, I actually blurted out, “When all you’ll be doing is play games everyday, how won’t you fail your ICAN exam….” Yeah, he kicked me out of his house and didn’t invite me back for about a month.

Mario Kart


“Mario Kart is a kid’s game.” That’s what I said before watching about twenty grown men pile around a 42” screen and go at it for almost four hours straight. By the end of the second hour, they were cussing and calling out their innocent mothers so much, I had to do a second take at the screen to verify that it was actually Mario Kart these men were playing.

Then I asked for the pad.

Listen to me, if you don’t have years of training, I mean, you’ve been playing Mario Kart since the Super NES days, please, don’t try to play with Nintendo fanboys. They will humiliate you. Repeatedly.


Special mentions

Call of Duty, Street Fighter, Marvel vs Capcom, Contra and Super Smash Bros.

If you value your friendships, keep your friends away from these games.

Photo Credit: bryanwintermute via Compfight cc; Gamespot, Gifsec

Ibukun Taiwo Author

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