Editor’s note: portions of this piece are in Yoruba
For some background to this story, kindly read this article.
The year is 2020. Three men walk in the middle of the night. Their destination is a town called Ota on the Outskirts of Lagos.
They arrive at a White garment church. Songs such as ‘Jah Elo, Elo, Jah Elo, Elo’ rend the air. The Church leader’s body is contorting and twisting as he enters into some sort of trance.
The leader of the Walking Trio asks one of them if that is their destination. He gets a negative response. They continue walking.
They see a lone hut afar off. As they move closer to the hut, they see some inscriptions on the wall which read ‘Ile Ishawuru’. They approach the hut quietly. They notice a visitor’s register with a list of names and addresses. Names such as Linda- Linda Ikeji Blog, Ladun Liadi Blog, Ayeni – thenet.ng, Chude – ynaija.com are seen in the worn-out notebook.
The first one writes his name – Jason – Spark . The second man writes his name – Mark – hotels.ng . The 3rd man writes his name. Bankole – Interpreter.
After writing their names, Jason turns to Bankole and says – “What the f**k is going on here?”
Bankole replies – “Jason, you are very stubborn, You know how long it took us to get here. So we got here and you started speaking English. You better keep quiet and enter Baba’s house”.
They stooped to enter Baba’s hut one at a time. Baba sat on a mat surrounded with cowrie shells. A headless chicken lay dead on the floor while a small lamp burnt in the shadows.
Bankole: Ishawuru oooo, Alagbara oju ala, Okunrin Meje, Ifa to n lo laptop, Sonponna to n lo Whatsapp, Eegun to n lo pinging
Baba: Nnkan ti e ba bawa ni ke so , mi o raye oriki, Kini Oruko awon ore e yii?
Bankole tells Jason and Mark to kneel down. Jason refuses while Mark complies.
Bankole: Jason ni oruko eleyii
Baba: Jason? Jason? Iru oruko wo niyen? Aah mo ti ranti ibi ti mo ti gbo ri. Ki loruko Oyinbo Dudu to ma n jo ijo electric laye igba yen? Jaksin abi?
Bankole: Jackson niyen, Jason leleyii
Baba: Ma je ka fa oro gun, Awo ti emi n sin ko gbo ede Oyinbo, Onikunla loruko e latisinyin lo
Jason turns to Bankole: WTF is he saying? What is the meaning of “Onikunla”?
Bankole: He’s saying you have a big stomach
Baba: Ki loruko oyinbo kekere to teleyii
Bankole: Mark
Baba: Maki, se ewo ni fun iwo lati wu irun si ori, e rori e bi teyin, latisin lo, Olori Eyin loruko re
Bankole turns to Mark and explains that Baba has named him ‘Egg head’.
Baba: Ki gan ni e ba wa?
Bankole explains the issues to Baba.
Mark started a business in Nigeria and was funded by Jason.
Shortly after another company called Rocket entered into Nigeria. They sent their representative called Marek to start a Rival company. Since Rocket entered Nigeria, great enmity started between Mark and Marek. Wars were fought in the media, on the ground and in the skies. Their customers were so tired of both parties that they stopped booking hotels online entirely. Right now, everybody had reverted back to manual booking and the online booking business was dead.
The only way forward was to drive Rocket out of Nigeria through meta-physical means.
Baba turns to Mark and Jason
Baba: Nigba to ku die ti eyin ma sorire ni Oloriburuku Rocket wa da oju ija koyin abi
Bankole explains to Mark and Jason that Baba now has the full picture.
Baba turns to Jason
Baba: Onikunla, Se wahala to ba e ko ti to mu e kunle siwaju mi abi?
Jason: What the F**k is this guy saying?
Bankole steps in to explain to Jason that Baba wants him to kneel down. Mark looks up and appeals to Jason to kneel down.
Baba: Ki ni oruko awon Oloriburuku tiwon fe ba ise yin je?
Jason: Rocket
Baba: Ki ni oruko iranse won?
Mark: Marek
Baba turns to his iPad and googles ‘Marek Rocket’. He enlarges Marek’s picture and hangs the ipad on the wall beside him . He chews some Kolanut and spits it out. He reaches into his box and brings out some white powder. He blows the Powder onto the Laptop screen and starts to chant
“Marekioooooooo, Marekiioooooooooo, Marekioooooooooo – Otooto la ja ewe, Otooto la ja egbo, Biribiri lojurimu, Boobo laguntan wo, Agbejule lomode n gbegi eleera, Roketiiiiiooooooo, Roketiooooooooooooo, Roketiooooooooooooooo, Inu friji lati ri omi tutu, Ni ikorita lati n pade Lastma, Lojo Satide la n pade Enfiromental, Akanpo orisirisi aso were ni a n pe ni kolo blokin Igborere o Igborere o, Marekiiii Roketiiiiio, Igbo rere , Igbo rere, Igborereeeeeoo, emi Ishawuru lo wibe, Oku die, Oku die, Mo n meye bo lapo”.
The atmosphere becomes charged and smoke fills the air.
Baba turns to Bankole and tells him that the work is not yet complete
Baba: Bankole, wa so fun won pe ti o ba di ojo Isegun ti o n bo ni ogojo oru, ki awon mejeeji gbe ebo sinu igba kekere kan ki won ru lo si ikorita Ajose Adeogun.
Bankole clarifies from Baba what type of sacrifice his friends are supposed to carry to Ajose Adeogun junction.
Baba: Ipad mini meje, Iphone 5s Meje pelu Charger Meje ni ki won ko lo si ikorita. Ma so fun won nisiyin o nitori alagidi ni Ogbeni Onikunla yii, Te ba ti dele ni ko so fun.
Bankole notes down the details of the sacrifice (7 Ipads, 7 Iphones and 7 Chargers) but refrains from telling his friends.
Baba: So fun Onikunla ati Olori eyin pe ti ese won ba ti te ita ile yii, ere ni awon mejeeji gbodo sa dele, Ona otooto ni won si gbodo gba, Ki won ma wo eyin o. Agbara to wa lowo Roketi on kin se kekere, Oogun gidi si wa lowo won, Ki won ma wo eyin o.
Bankole explains to Mark and Jason that they have to run home in different directions so that the powers can start taking effect on Rocket. They are not allowed to look back until they get home. Baba gets up and steps out the hut.
Bankole tells Jason and Mark to get up and get out. They leave the hut and scamper in different directions.
About an hour later, a knock is heard on Baba’s door. Baba calls out ‘Ta ni yen?’. The person replies
“Emi ni. Emi Marek ni…
To be continued.
