On the heels of the Royal Amebo saga, from the origins to the unveilings, we have decided to organise a “Tweminar” (Twitter seminar) titled “How To Set P Safely”.

We jest, but this is really the age of catfish, and the knowledge from such a tweminar, should we ever choose to host it, would be well worth it. Just in case you skipped all the previous context to this post, “catfishing” is –

The phenomenon of internet predators that fabricate online identities and entire social circles to trick people into emotional/romantic relationships (over a long period of time). Possible motivations: revenge, loneliness, curiosity, boredom – Urban Dictionary

The only thing that excellent UD definition is missing in its list of possible motivations is profit – which was the goal of the alleged and “unmasked” antagonist of the Royal Amebo debacle.

It is one thing to know what catfishers or the signs of catfishing look like. Knowing how to protect yourself from the schemes of wily of social engineers that pervade the internets is another. The following tips we are about to recommend aren’t apps, bullet-proof password techniques, because catfishing, and indeed the whole gamut of social engineering ploys, are not technical in nature. They are human hacks that exploit vulnerabilities in our psyches. The best defense is to be eternally vigilant and act promptly when the need arises.

Never say it can’t happen to you

Thinking that you are too web-savvy to be caught by this sort of scam is precisely the sort of thinking that will get you snared in one when you least suspect it. Omojuwa is hardly a digital novice, and he was, in his own words “royally fooled”. In fact, it took a red flag raised by another tweep who is said to have been through a similar experience for the ones involved to realise that they had been caught up in a web of deceit so intricate that you could make a Nollywood movie of it.

Moral of the story is to never on account of your web-wisdom lower your firewall, even for one second. Hubris comes before a catfish.

Avoid the dark alleys

The internet is a rabbit hole that leads to untold vistas of knowledge and opportunity. But it also has its own share of badlands, seedy streets and dark alleys that no one but those up to no good (or a cop) has any business going. Stay in a shady vicinity long enough, and it is only a matter of time before causality and probability intersect. People who pick up hookers are more likely to catch STDs. Hanging around drug dealers significantly increases one’s chances of getting shot. People who plumb the depths of Twitter into zones like Yaba Left or Boobvatar lane in search of online trysts are most likely to find themselves swimming in catfish territory.

Verify all identities

So you steered clear of the dark alleys, and you are fairly certain the person you are DM-ing is who they say they are. But fairly certain isn’t enough reason to lower the drawbridge. There are many ways to check if a person is real, but whatever you do, you can never have anything less than three-factor authentication. Real people will always have a social context — friends, family and work — people that have few relationships or seem to have dropped out of the blue are almost always fishy.

Also, look out for consistency across their social media profiles and Google footprint. Some people can setup elaborate faux identities, but you might find a hole if you bother to check. People who don’t want to Skype, don’t want to give a physical address, or keeping putting off a physical meet should make you wary too.

Go out and party

Get out there. Into the real world where there’s humans that you can see and touch and make out with. Yes. People who find love, friends, companions and what-not offline rarely seek it online and are by default, less vulnerable to catfish.

Having acknowledged that falling in love with boobvatars are generally a bad idea, we know people who have found their better halves online. But whatever it is you are looking for, try find it first in the real world. If you are in Lagos, communities like Freedom Hall and TNC are good places to start. TNC does an especially good job of bringing flirty tweeps into the same room.

In conclusion

Before the can of worms spilled its wriggly contents, Royal Amebo’s victims all thought her a vivacious and interesting woman. If we are to trust in the accuracy of the findings from the ongoing investigation into the affair however, the one behind RA’s puppet strings is in actual fact a man. Catfish are very resourceful and intelligent people. Can’t be too careful these days.

Photo Credit: editrixie via Compfight cc

Bankole Oluwafemi Author

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