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Today is Wednesday. Bankole here.

1. Stop writing nonsense: The quality of Uber’s service has fallen off in Lagos (people in Kenya and Ghana, etc, how far?). It’s quite bad, to the point that people are beginning to seriously consider local Uber alternatives. And that’s natural. Until people start being silly and start peddling drivel that makes no sense. Specifically blogs who should know better than to take a cropped screenshot from App Annie lacking in timeline context as conclusive evidence that Taxify has passed Uber to become the number one e-hailing app in Nigeria. Seriously, no be so dem do do something, my guy. Stop being funny, please.

+ My boss, Seyi Taylor vexed and wrote a rant in the newsroom that we decided to publish. Read it. In summary, Taxify doesn’t begin to have enough piss to last in a pissing contest with Uber. Okay, not his exact words, but you get.

+ The Lagos people who are rushing into Taxify’s arms are finding out that both of them are trash, since quite a few drivers sign up to both of them. Lol

+ Having said that, Uber is not here (or in any market for that matter) to play games (Twitter thread).

2. Bob Collymore’s CEO tenure at Safaricom gets an extension. The Safaricom board has extended Collymore’s tenure by an additional two years, following his last contract extension in May 2015. The announcement was made during the disclosure of the company’s full-year results.

3. Oracle has opened offices in Abuja – A lot of government officials were present. Because government contracts galore. Link.

+ From the press release: “Our aim will be supporting the government implement its vision with a modern, secure, and cost-effective suite of cloud solutions built specifically for the public sector”.

Yass, get your piece of that national cake, yo!

4. Amazon just launched the Echo Show, and I’m in love (Issa Twitter thread). The problem with home automation though is that they require 24/7 electricity, and I happen to live in Nigeria. FML. If anybody wants to adopt or abduct me to a country (any country) that has light, please signify.

5. Nigeria’s bureau of statistics has just released a report on the telecommunication sector, and it’s a must-read. Link

+ Highlights: the telecoms sector represents about 9 percent of Nigeria’s GDP / MTN is still king / CDMA still exists / Ntel has passed Smile by an insane margin to become the largest VoIP network by subscribers (Wait, howwwwww?)

Innovators working on justice and legal issues worldwide can apply for up to 20,000 EUR in equity-free grant money as part of the HiiL Justice Accelerator’s Innovating Justice Challenge here. The Call for Applications, which opened March 1 and remains open until June 30, encourages two types of application: first, startups with an idea and team may apply for funding in the Call for Innovations; second, individuals without a team or idea can apply for the Call for Talent.

What else is going on?

+ China is really doubling down on Africa. But you already knew that. Link

+ How do you incentivise borrowers to pay their debts acquired via your app? Threaten to message their contacts. Haba, Kwikcash, is that how you use to do? Link

+ The latest edition of the Made In Nigeria Tech podcast talks about Andela’s new Lagos offices and other cool stuff. I didn’t listen to it, so if you hate it, please go and beat Osarumen. It’s only 7 minutes of your life. Link

+ Accounting Hub, Suvenia and Go Spot are the three finalists of the Demo Africa innovation tour and are on their way to pitch at the main event in Johannesburg this September. Well done.

+ Nigeria’s Central Bank has increased debit and credit card maintenance fees from N100 to N600 per annum. Most people won’t notice the monthly N50 deductions, but this stuff adds up to a hefty payday for the CBN. Don’t you wish you could 5x your revenues with one crummy memo too? Link

OneMedical is helping hospitals across Nigeria go digital, and is looking for a systems admin to join its amazing team. If you know your way around Docker, PostgreSQL databases, and Linux-based systems, it could be you! Apply here.

Upcoming events

Zimbabwe: Digital Future Conference, May 11th. Link

Lagos: Founder’s Conference, May 11th. Link

London: Building Things for NG, May 12th. Link

California: Africa Business Forum, May 13th. Link

Want to see your event in here? Add your event

That’s all, folks!

Today’s digest is chock full of Nigerianisms pretending to be bad english to people who don’t get them. If a phrase is confusing you, hit me up and I’ll explain

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